In the land of plans that come to fruition (I hate the word)

Every night, I fall asleep thinking about all of the things I want to accomplish the next day and all of the ways I am going to do that. Based on a compilation of those strategic plans, my life should look like this:

My day would begin at precisely 5:30 a.m. (because I'd set my alarm and NOT hit snooze every fifteen minutes for two hours)

The uniforms my children wear to school would be impeccable (because I would repair every loose thread, missing button, and bleach out every tiny stain or hint of dingy)

My house would be immaculate (because I would create and follow a very strict cleaning schedule).

Each morning, I'd greet friends and coworkers with freshly-baked muffins or bread (because I do so much baking with my children each day).

I would buy $200 worth of groceries for about $25 (after all of the coupon-clipping).

All of our meals for the week would be prepped and ready to go (because I'd spend every Sunday doing all the cooking for the week).

My house would be adorned with whimsy little crafts that the girls and I make since we sit down together and do crafts all the time (because I'm finally making use of the craft-madness that occupies 1/4 of my basement).

My work and studying would be completely up-to-date (because I'd follow a strict study schedule).

And finally,

I'd devote an hour each day to exercise (because I'm so physically fit and couldn't imagine going a day without working out).

The fact it, I don't do any of those things. Regardless of how much I plan or think or talk about it, I continue to grossly mismanage my time. There are plenty of books and people that can offer advice on how to better manage time. I don't need those. I know how to do that. What I need is to find the resolve to do it. I seem to create this controlled chaos in my life and I don't know why. I don't know what function it serves. If I can figure that out, I can find a new way to perform that function...one that does not involve piling far more into my day and life than I can handle...one that is performed in a way that I can accomplish most of my short-term goals without borrowing time from my next day.

Just thinking out loud.

xoxo