Karma Police

I'm having a moment.

I find myself completely irritated with certain people and certain situations. I guess it's more a combination of feeling angry, hurt, and really disappointed. Unfortunately, it's one of those situations where I'm not in a position to do anything about it. It's ironic because I was just having a conversation with someone the other day and we were discussing things that we found infuriating. You know, those little seemingly mundane things that we don't even think about until it happens. I had two that came to mind:

1.) Getting the kids and any necessary cargo loaded into the car, kids buckled, climate control set, music on, car in reverse and........................oh shitzkies! I forgot something I absolutely need and I have to now turn off the car, get out, unlock the door, use my foot to strategically prevent the cats from escaping, and go in and get whatever it is I need. This is especially annoying when I am already running a few minutes late. (Note: For those of you who are snickering because of my track record in social engagement punctuality - ZIP IT!)

2.) Being really pissed off at someone or something and having no outlet.

I realize these things are fleeting - especially the first. It's just that I find comfort and security in being proactive. Okay, I'll admit, being proactive allows me to be in control of a situation as much as possible. So, when I find myself in this state of mind, I'm terribly restless and feel totally helpless. Even as I type, my mind keeps looking for alternatives. I could write a letter, but this is always the scariest of options because it means sorting through a tangled mess of thoughts and trying to form a set of cohesive, articulate sentences that I won't soon regret since I there are no take-backs. I could make a call...okay...this may be a viable option in some instances, but suffice it to say, that is not the case now. A personal confrontation is also not an option. So, I'm left to stew. As always, it will gnaw at me for a few days, and then I'll get bored with the whole thing and become indifferent. The problem is, it won't be resolved and then it'll just come up again.

I try very hard to make sure my girls learn that we are most often unable to change someone else, but we can change our own situations. I fear, in this case, that the only answer is to make my changes internally to break this cycle.

I know I'm rambling and the obvious omission of any details may hinder the possibility of anyone reading this to relate. I think I just needed to put it out there to hold myself accountable next time I allow myself to be in this situation.

By the way, incase anyone is concerned, all is well here. The girls are awesome (and have much better tans than I do, which is odd since they use the SPF 10,000 and I use the SPF 10 - but whatevs), Mike is good (as long as he stays aways from the red Crocs that he seems to think are okay to wear in public), and the summer has been good to us. Even though I'm disgruntled, I'm loving my life overall.