"Lois, can you hear me all the way back in the 50s?"

My girls made up a song. It goes:

Old Man Tacky lived on a farm

He has a friend named Peeeee-nis

Precious. What parent's heart wouldn't swell with pride when their children write songs that include the word "penis". I don't just have those tears-of-joy moments during their song performances, I am also so blessed to know that my children, at the ages of seven and five, have developed social consciousness as well. For instance, Maria came home from a visit with her cousin this weekend and enlightened me with the following:

Mommy, you know Vanessa Hudgens? Well, it turns out that she's really not a nice girl because she let her boyfriend take naked pictures of her and put them on the internet for everyone to see.

Maria also asked about Jamie Lynn Spears being pregnant. I guess she heard about it from one of her friends at school and was so confused by this news that the first thing she said to me when she got in the car was, "Someone said Jamie Lynn Spears is having a baby. " I replied, "Yeah, I heard that too. She's very young. It must be scary to be that young and have to have all the responsibility of becoming a mommy." That was the safest response I could come up with that was non-judemental but still conveyed that it was not a good thing. Ava pipes in and asks, "Wait who's Jamie Lynn Spears?". Maria explained that it was the girl who played Zoey on Zoey 101. Ava thought about if for a minute and said, "Awwww! She and Chase [Zoey's love interest on the show - it's shameful that I know this] got married and had a baby? That's so nice!". I gave Ava a loving smile as I was thinking how sweet it is that she's so naive and so innocent that she's thinking of it in this way. I said, "No baby, she became a mom in real life and a different guy is the dad". Ava's jaw dropped, and in total exasperation, she said, "WHAT?! SHE CHEATED ON HIM?"

In all seriousness, it is truly amazing how much their worlds grow between the ages of three and five. I suppose I could keep them in a sanitary hamster ball and go to great lengths to make sure their young eyes, ears, minds, and bodies are only exposed to all things pure and wholesome. I know there are some parents who do. For me, however, this would be futile. I am flawed, I make mistakes, and I sometimes say words I shouldn't. If I am this imperfect, there is just no possible way to create a pristine environment for my children. I still have the same desire to keep them safe and protect them that any other parent does. I just feel I need to go about differently.

I'm okay with my children saying "penis" and "vagina" (provided they are not inappropriately discussing it with me in public). Having these words in their vocabularies and being comfortable with using them will help to minimize the embarrassment and shame they may feel as they get older and will allow us to have a better dialogue about sex. It also helps us to have a good dialogue about their bodies now so we can discuss physical boundaries. Plus, I just don't think I could stomach my girls saying words like "wee-wee".

I'm comfortable with them knowing about many current events - even those that are tragic and those that are just trivial (like celebrity babies). Knowledge is power. Since this is their world too, I feel that they are empowered by the process of receiving information, processing that information as best as they can, and then asking questions of us in order to help them sort it out. There still are many things from which I try to shield them. A good rule of thumb is that if it ellicits a strong emotional response from me or it's too much for me to even think about or to try to understand, it's certainly too much for them (e.g. murder, tragedies involving children, images of extreme violence, etc.) . I am also careful about the level of sexuality that they are exposed to. They know how babies are made. They know people kiss. They haven't yet made the connection that actual sex is often used solely for pleasure. They know that the lives of others may look very different than our own. They know there are different religions, different customs, same-sex relationships and parents, families that look very different than ours, and various languages. The bottom line is that I have always made it a priority to make sure that the word "different" is not synonymous with the words "bad" or "wrong". As they go through life, they will be exposed to so much that could provide ammunition to make choices that could have undesirable consequences. I want their own minds and their own values to have the biggest influence...to be the most powerful. Their own conscience should have a much louder voice than any friend, anyone on TV, or any image in a movie or advertisement. How do you learn to defeat an enemy in battle? Do you hide from it? Do you make sure that anyone older and wiser quickly whisks you out of the room as it approaches? I don't believe so. You size it up. You learn how to overcome it by practicing your tactics on smaller enemies in a controlled environment and develop your skills. You work towards the point where you are able to look at it in the face and know that you are stronger, smarter, and way more powerful. You also pick your battles and realize that life is much more peaceful if you learn to appreciate the benefits of variety and accept and coexist with most others rather than looking at anyone that is different as an enemy.

This was my soapbox for the day. I'm not sure where this came from. Before I had children, it was fairly easy to surround myself with people who shared similar values and maintain only a superficial level of contact with those who didn't. I'm finding that, as my girls get older, this is more difficult. They have teachers and friends with parents who are far more conservative than I. I find that I tread lightly when talking with those parents but it sometimes puts an elephant in the room. Ultimately, it's good though. Just as I am hoping to raise my children with similar values by challenging them and encouraging them to exercise their minds and inner voice, I am doing the same by encountering these differences among other parents. I'm not afraid of it. I mean, we're all better for it. Though, it can be exhausting.

Much like reading this post may be.

Sorry.