Day 38

Helloooo to all of my adoring fans! There has been quite a lapse between posts. Actually, the reason why is a cool story. You see, a few months ago...okay, I'm about the launch into a stream of BS. There is no cool story. I just haven't been inspired, compelled, or even motivated. I think it has something to do with the fact that the past couple of weeks have felt stagnant. The girls started back to school and I have since felt directionless. I have realized that I am not self-motivated. I work well when it's a "have to" situation as opposed to a "should" situation. I'm not sure how to do that...how to hold the "shoulds" in the same regard as the "have to" things. I know that it comes down to the motivation. Obligations generally come from external motivations and all of the others require it to be internal. This is my problem. This is what I want to work on...but working on that problem is a "should", so I guess one could say that the mere act of actively working to improve upon that problem would be indicative of the problem being resolved. Whoa. I'm blowing my own mind here.

Despite my rambling, the fact is, I'm once again in that place where I know what the problem is, I know what needs to be done, I just need to do it.

Now, for the good news. This week, I have taken steps to make some changes. I have a couple of potentially exciting things on the table, neither of which I care to discuss right now. Suffice it to say that in the coming weeks, I may look and feel better, AND money may not be so much of a concern. Ultimately, if one of more of those things don't work out, all hope will not be lost and things will still be okay.

Summer is packing up and getting ready to leave. Autumn has started to drop some things off in preparation for a visit that is never long enough. In the next few months, I look forward to school (no, really!), the holidays, Disney World, and maybe even the snow (and a snow day). I hope that my next personal update (sometime in the next few days) will have some good news - some results.

In the meantime, please enjoy looking at our new friend Dave. Dave is a black squirrel that lives in our yard and likes to lie flat on the ground or on the tree. He will eat apples and peanuts that I set about a foot away from me and doesn't seem to mind us being in the yard - as long as there's food. He yells at birds and cats and shows a preference for Cheerios over Kix. He eats out of the bird feeder but seems to run away if the cardinals show up. Most of all, he has taught me an important lesson...that I NEED AN F-ING HOBBY!

xoxo