The Giant Girl

(first, pause the music over here >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>)

Little Girl Giant Plays in the Park from XINERGY on Vimeo.

I found this on another blog and I have watched it a few times. In a time in my life when I have become so pragmatic and immersed in concrete thinking, it's such a nice vacation for my mind to be able to engage in some frivolity. You can't help but smile when you watch this. Well, Maria thought is was a little freaky at first, but she really enjoyed that the kids got to take a ride on the girl's arms.

I need more culture and creativity in my life. I used to be a person that listened to music every minute of the day that I wasn't in class or at the dinner table. I still enjoy it, but it has become a deliberate act like sitting down to read a book or watch a movie. It's no longer background music for every moment of my life. I was raised around music and I want that for my girls as well. I'm proud of their current musical knowledge but I think there's room for more. They have iPods. Maria listened to hers almost the entire time we were in Chicago. Nearly every photo of my girls shows Maria with earphones in her ears. I loved seeing that. She wasn't being anti-social, she was just really enjoying her music.

Ava is always singing and making up songs. She has an uncanny ability to memorize lyrics to so many songs. I love looking in my rear view mirror and watching her singing along to "Dazed and Confused" or "Cheated Hearts".

My classes start in a couple of weeks. One of my favorite parts of the whole school experience is the time spent on the bus, people-watching and listening to music.
When I see some of the moms at my daughters' school, I wonder what they were like before they took on the role of stereotypical soccer mom...before their likes, dislikes, accomplishments, successes and struggles, shades of their personalities became solely attached to being a wife and mother. I still feel like an outsider with many of them because I resist that phenomena on a daily basis. It's not that I value being a mother (and pseudo-wife) any less than they do, I just feel like I have nothing to teach or offer my girls if I allow my responsibilities, age, and financial obligations to whittle me down to a mental and emotional skeleton of the person I spent 27 years becoming (before becoming a mom).

Please don't misunderstand me. I have no intention or desire to be a "friend" to my children. I won't be one of those imposing, weird moms that makes you and your friends feel simultaneously impressed and uncomfortable with their "hipness". I would rather be their mom. The time for us to relate as peers will come when they are grown - just as it has for my mother and me (though I still sometimes call her mommy in my head).
I don't know what the point of this is. The video didn't move me that much. It just evokes a little whimsy and as I started writing about it, my stream of consciousness takes over. But I digress...