I'm out of wit or creativity. I'm at a point in life right now where, if it's not on a syllabus, I don't do it. I've never been good with that level of structure. When subjected to it, I tend to exert my independence in some other way. I don't necessarily do it on purpose, but nothing pleases me more than to have the opportunity to challenge a rule. So, for example, when I'm informed of a rule that I find to be unjust in some way, I am a little bit excited when something comes up and the rule enforcer is almost forced to have to make an exception. I don't think this makes me a born rebel or even an activist, I think it just makes me either a.) arrogant and resentful of others when I'm told what to do, or b.) easily entertained by a little controversy. Since I am kind of terrific, we'll rule out "a". Yeah, let's go with that.
Having said all that, I'm certainly not a rule-breaker. I avoid trouble at all costs. I don't mind being compliant, I just stay cognizant of the fact that being compliant is by choice. If I attended a seminar that was to last six hours, I don't mind staying all six hours, provided I knew the doors were accessible incase I needed to leave. If someone announced, however, that the doors would be locked and sealed for the next six hours and only opened in the case of an emergency, I'd leave. I won't go into my thoughts on abortion or the woman who refuses chemotherapy for her son. If you know me, you know my feelings on this. I will say, however, that free will empowers us in amazing ways and I am so happy my children have already learned not to squander that.
It's no surprise, then, that my oldest daughter is so strong-willed. I'm pretty sure that if someone instructed her to blink, her little eyeballs would dry up and fall out of her head. She has so much trouble doing anything that she doesn't feel is of her own free will. This may make our mornings difficult (since being woken up by your mom or dad EPITOMIZES being instructed to do something you don't want to do), this may be why she refused to kick the diaper-habit until after her third birthday, and this may even be why she has a list of about a ten foods she'll eat. Yet, I have no desire to change her.
This child absolutely owns her own choices. She may make some poor choices that have some consequences or undesirable outcomes, but you'll rarely hear her blame someone else. She's not an angel-child, but she is smart, she is accountable for her actions, and at eight (well, almost) years old, she has a capacity to make decisions that is sometimes difficult to see in adults. I'm so proud of her for that.
What have I learned over the past couple of days?
Tuesday: It's possible to respond, with confidence, "I don't know.".
Wednesday: It's very difficult to accept when someone doesn't like something as much as I do.
Thursday: My eternal faith in humanity causes me to be repeatedly floored by the lack of consideration that others sometimes show.
xoxo
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